Are you gay?
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MissScarletDidntDoIt
- Crime Lab Scientist
- Posts: 1444
- Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2009 4:38 pm
- Location: Toronto
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alwaysPeacock
- Fleet Street Look-Out
- Posts: 3238
- Joined: Sun Sep 26, 2004 12:45 pm
- Location: GA, USA
Today, I kind of casually came out to my family. To be honest I have no clue how it happened, but it was a...relief, to say the least. We were discussing the recent coming out of my best friend, and my mum asked me if I thought I was gay. I told her I was probably bi. My family seemed pretty cool, even my little brother didn't mind. The discussion finished.
I brought it back up with, "What if I was gay, would you mind?" I seriously have no idea how I did that. Either I had gone insane or I had a miraculous boost of confidense. I assume realistically it was the latter. My mum said "No." It felt great. My dad kind of didn't say anything. He's old fashioned, if you know what I mean. My brother asked me if I do like any girls. I said very slightly, like maybe Miss Scarlet. I know, what a flaw-ridden example to use, but seriously I do.
So yeah, as of now my family think I'm bi. Although, I think my mum (whom I most close to) knows deep down.
Now all I have to do is come out to my best friend.
I brought it back up with, "What if I was gay, would you mind?" I seriously have no idea how I did that. Either I had gone insane or I had a miraculous boost of confidense. I assume realistically it was the latter. My mum said "No." It felt great. My dad kind of didn't say anything. He's old fashioned, if you know what I mean. My brother asked me if I do like any girls. I said very slightly, like maybe Miss Scarlet. I know, what a flaw-ridden example to use, but seriously I do.
So yeah, as of now my family think I'm bi. Although, I think my mum (whom I most close to) knows deep down.
Now all I have to do is come out to my best friend.
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Jane Poirot
- Femme Fatale
- Posts: 2185
- Joined: Mon Apr 07, 2008 9:50 pm
- Location: On a planet called Earth
I'm at that stage in my teenage years where I'm not quite sure where I lean; I mean, I'm attracted towards guys for the most part. I find myself drooling over, say, Doug Savant in a thong far more than Eva Longoria Parker in her underwear on Desperate Housewives (though I do feel a twinge of envy during such scenes 
). Yet in one Family Studies class a few years ago, there was this one girl whom I had a bit of an infatuation for, but it didn't go anywhere. I don't go crazy over the girls when changing for gym. I notice SOME girls in class but not often, yet I am also the same way towards guys since I just find writing more interesting.
What would that be--straight with bi tendencies?
). Yet in one Family Studies class a few years ago, there was this one girl whom I had a bit of an infatuation for, but it didn't go anywhere. I don't go crazy over the girls when changing for gym. I notice SOME girls in class but not often, yet I am also the same way towards guys since I just find writing more interesting.What would that be--straight with bi tendencies?
Anyone who thinks Canadians are meek and mild-mannered has obviously never seen us during Question Period!
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Jane Poirot
- Femme Fatale
- Posts: 2185
- Joined: Mon Apr 07, 2008 9:50 pm
- Location: On a planet called Earth
Meh, my best friend recently came out as gay himself. He moved away about two years ago but we still stay in touch. I don't feel as though I can come out to him incase he thinks I'm just copying him or something. I know that sounds really weird but that's the way I feel.
Besides, if I do tell him, he'll probably end up telling my other female friends who see me at lunch at school - talk about awkward. They've already professed how weird it would be if I was to say I liked an attractive guy that they were talking about.
Teenage angst sucks.
Besides, if I do tell him, he'll probably end up telling my other female friends who see me at lunch at school - talk about awkward. They've already professed how weird it would be if I was to say I liked an attractive guy that they were talking about.
Teenage angst sucks.
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Lord Caspen
- Court Stenographer
- Posts: 2537
- Joined: Fri May 06, 2005 8:50 pm
Eh
Adam106,
I kind of know what you mean. For me, I kind of felt like, if I were gay, it would make me and my attractions somehow less special. I couldn't be the quirky straight guy who sometimes fell for a boy -- the guy that couldn't be completely figured out.
I'd just be the gay guy in my group.
I think, though, that ultimately such concerns are detrimental. Try thinking even just five years down the road. How much will you really care, then, whether or not these people in particular still think you're cool? You'll be moving on, starting or continuing to develop your career. You'll have employers to impress, you'll have other girlfriends who will love talking about boys with you, you'll be taking care of or looking for your own place.
What kind of time, then, will you have to wonder whether or not people like the fact that you're gay?
I mean, if there are serious bodily or immediate and earth-shattering social concerns, that's your own affair. But based on what you've told me, I think you stand a better chance for happiness if you take a little more adult an attitude about this. It's more self-respectful, and self-respect is enormously attractive.
I kind of know what you mean. For me, I kind of felt like, if I were gay, it would make me and my attractions somehow less special. I couldn't be the quirky straight guy who sometimes fell for a boy -- the guy that couldn't be completely figured out.
I'd just be the gay guy in my group.
I think, though, that ultimately such concerns are detrimental. Try thinking even just five years down the road. How much will you really care, then, whether or not these people in particular still think you're cool? You'll be moving on, starting or continuing to develop your career. You'll have employers to impress, you'll have other girlfriends who will love talking about boys with you, you'll be taking care of or looking for your own place.
What kind of time, then, will you have to wonder whether or not people like the fact that you're gay?
I mean, if there are serious bodily or immediate and earth-shattering social concerns, that's your own affair. But based on what you've told me, I think you stand a better chance for happiness if you take a little more adult an attitude about this. It's more self-respectful, and self-respect is enormously attractive.
It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit. -- Blithe Spirit, Noel Coward.
Not anymore. I'm now tutored privately at school in a room with a mentor. My friends come visit me at break and lunch. I think I made a PM to you a while back stating that my home tutors were leaving me.cacums wrote:I thought you were home schooled?
Thank you for this. I'm not the most confident person in the world (no matter how hard I try). I'll probably come out to them later down the line. Perhaps when I gain better control of myself and my life and have a definite goal to reach, then will be the time. I have to assume that real friends will love you no matter what you are.Lord Caspen wrote:
Adam106,
I kind of know what you mean. For me, I kind of felt like, if I were gay, it would make me and my attractions somehow less special. I couldn't be the quirky straight guy who sometimes fell for a boy -- the guy that couldn't be completely figured out.
I'd just be the gay guy in my group.
I think, though, that ultimately such concerns are detrimental. Try thinking even just five years down the road. How much will you really care, then, whether or not these people in particular still think you're cool? You'll be moving on, starting or continuing to develop your career. You'll have employers to impress, you'll have other girlfriends who will love talking about boys with you, you'll be taking care of or looking for your own place.
What kind of time, then, will you have to wonder whether or not people like the fact that you're gay?
I mean, if there are serious bodily or immediate and earth-shattering social concerns, that's your own affair. But based on what you've told me, I think you stand a better chance for happiness if you take a little more adult an attitude about this. It's more self-respectful, and self-respect is enormously attractive.
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Lord Caspen
- Court Stenographer
- Posts: 2537
- Joined: Fri May 06, 2005 8:50 pm
Hey
I hope so, because you're really kind of awesome.
It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit. -- Blithe Spirit, Noel Coward.
Re: Hey
Oh, thank you very, very much.Lord Caspen wrote:I hope so, because you're really kind of awesome.
It's very rare I get a compliment. You're awesome too! I hope so. Give a few years and they may become more mature, anyway.cacums wrote:I'm sorry I must have forgotten about the PM, and yes the way I see it is if they like you know, they most likely will like you then, unless they are really that shallow... But I lost two friends in my coming out... mainly because they were stinkingly religious...