Ten Little Indians 1989

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CluedoKid
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Ten Little Indians 1989

Post by CluedoKid » Sat Mar 05, 2011 11:05 pm

Somebody has kindly uploaded the infamous 1989 abortion of Agatha Christie's classic. This time, it set not on island, but in Africa of all places, as everyone has been invited to a big lame safari.

Some of the characters have been changed. Emily Brent is religious, boozing le$bian ex-actress Marion Marshall, Dr. Armstrong is the excruciating painful to watch Dottor Werner, the Rogers are not servants, but guests from Omaha, Newbraska (and horribly mis-matched couple if there ever was one...), for some reason Blore has become a fat, grubby American, General MacArthur is now an Eastern-European man named General Romansky who bears a strong resemblance to Colonel Mustard, Wargrave, Marston and Vera are all British and are relatively the same...finally the character of Phillip Lombard is crapped on by Sly Stallone's lesser known brother, Frank Stallone.

Enjoy, with caution.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxGxO_khlg0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ht4Pqr_VCJ0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGHvFqfVD9I

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUIDy0zn0WI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Pndm3KqZvo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrCg_WKFYyw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqGsJ9qCecM
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go_leafs_nation
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Post by go_leafs_nation » Sun Mar 06, 2011 12:47 am

I actually like the general in this adapt. Herbert Lom is far better than his predecessor in the equally awful 70s film.
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WarnerPlum
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Post by WarnerPlum » Sun Mar 06, 2011 5:40 am

It's from the same people who brought us Sinbad of the Seven Seas! :lol:
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Lord Caspen
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Eh

Post by Lord Caspen » Sun Mar 06, 2011 5:28 pm

This was actually my first version of Ten Little Indians, never heard of the story before, and it got me hooked. Is it a great movie? Not really, but it captures a few key elements:

- the deception required to bring them together
- the isolation
- the increasing loneliness
- the flimsiness of their material comforts and accomplishments
- the relative difficulty of getting by after the servants' death

And most of all ...

- the sensibility the guests begin to develop that something supernatural is coming for them. Normally, the movies miss this last point in a big way.

Also, it's the bloodiest version, and I prefer the blood by far.


Could it have been better? By far. But I do rather like it.
It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit. -- Blithe Spirit, Noel Coward.

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Post by CluedoKid » Sun Mar 06, 2011 5:46 pm

Oh it's no secret I enjoy it too! :twisted:
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Post by go_leafs_nation » Sun Mar 06, 2011 6:18 pm

It's definitely something of a guilty pleasure, bad as it is.
The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy.
~Ellery Queen
At the Scene of the Crime

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Post by Jane Poirot » Mon Mar 07, 2011 2:05 am

Just finished...

(SPOILERS from hereon in for both the movie itself and those who have not read the book as I do not feel like putting everything down in white; also, capslocks rage in-coming)

Oh God, that was so bad it was hysterical. :lol: Where to begin? Well, for starters, the monkey was the best actor in the entire cast. :lol: Apart from him/her, the other two actors who actually did pretty good were the judge and the general. I especially loved the judge at the end, he was just plain creepy. :shock: The robe and wig were a nice touch, it reminded me of the end of Desyat Negrityat when the judge burns his own robe and wig. Except...hemlock poison doesn't quite work like that. I'm pretty sure the judge would be feeling numb instead of dizzy, but whatever.

Other hilarious parts include the b*tchy actress (oh sure, let's not give a d@mn about Mrs. Rogers for about five seconds, this must've been what was going on inside her head: "Oh, the maid just fainted. Oh, well. *beat* Wait, the doctor!"), the actors anticipating the others' actions, Rogers' reaction to his wife's death (not to mention TOTALLY OOC; in the book and other adaptations, he continues on with his job regardless of his feelings because he knows that is the proper thing to do as a butler and is pretty stoic about her death), the numerous Big Lipped Alligator Moments (moments that come out of nowhere, have nothing to do with the plot, make no sense even within the context of the story, and are never mentioned again--for example, Marston randomly singing "Mad Dogs and Englishmen" for no real reason at all), Vera randomly kissing Lombard and then going "I think the doctor did it" (wtf?), the random close-up of Vera screaming, Lombard mispronouncing her name until it's an emergency ("Fer...fer...VERA!"), the dramatically convenient pauses during the accusation scene (nice to know the person on the record just HAPPENED to know when to pause long enough to let other people react), the random stage hand that tapped the general and then POOF he falls off, Blore going psycho on Lombard after finding the general, Vera just kneeing Lombard to get the gun, and the best part: Blore's death. He is killed...by being...stabbed...by a knife...with a teddy bear on it. :? :shock: :lol: At which point, I'm beginning to think this was supposed to be a comedy.

And then there were the more maddening points. Like the record being called "Dying Swan Song". *facepalm* "Swan Song" MEANS "dying"; that was the POINT of the record being called "Swan Song". It was so that the readers could catch on to the MEANING behind it! But of course, the screenwriters think viewers are morons. Oh, and the inconsistent Lombard/Vera romance--the screenwriters just couldn't decide if they should be potential lovers, or just plain allies. For that matter, the actors couldn't decide on it either! At least the 1945 version made it clearer--they were pretty chaste, but you could tell just by the way they looked at each other, by the way they just trusted each other, by the way they interacted, that there was something between them.

More maddening things include Frank Stallone being just awful. His Lombard is so flat, no charisma, no personality. And Vera's random shrieking, GAH! Yes, she is hysterical in the book. Given the circumstances, it is perfectly acceptable for her to BE hysterical. But she wasn't hysterical because she screamed every time a fly flew in front of her nose; she was hysterical because the tension of the events around her were getting to her, and her guilt was eating her alive. Hence, her laughing fit at Rogers' death, her scream during the seaweed incident, and her suicide at the end. And what REALLY makes me mad is that, in explaining Vera's crime, THEY FORGET TO MENTION HUGO. *bangs head on wall* That was THE most CRUCIAL point of her crime and they DIDN'T. BOTHER. She was innocent in the play, sure, but Agatha Christie didn't neglect Hugo; she just made HIM the one to kill Cyril instead.

Finally, how could Marston have been killed with cyanide? He was CONSTANTLY DRINKING from his glass the ENTIRE time. There was no time for the judge to slip in even a little bit for a second!

...There. Capslock raging done. All in all, a terrible adaptation, but hilarious comedy...wait, it wasn't supposed to be a comedy? Well, it's still hilarious, even if the hilarity was unintentional.

Oh, and maybe it's just me, but the entire time I kept thinking about how the Nostalgia Critic would tear this apart. :lol: Maybe we should request this to him?
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Post by go_leafs_nation » Mon Mar 07, 2011 8:11 am

That would probably make a hilarious review, especially thanks to Frank Stallone. He makes Jean-Claude van Damme look Oscar-worthy. :lol:
The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy.
~Ellery Queen
At the Scene of the Crime

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Post by CluedoKid » Sat Apr 02, 2011 12:49 am

I've created a musical figurine of Elmo Rodgers. :twisted:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhAFqzE4axo
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