Really Bad Cluedo Jokes.

A place to discuss all aspects of Clue/Cluedo.

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CluedoKid
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Really Bad Cluedo Jokes.

Post by CluedoKid » Wed Oct 18, 2006 9:13 pm

Let's see how many Clue related groaners we can come up with.

I will start:

Q: Which is the best room to lie about your whereabouts during the murder?

A: The LIE-brary!
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Kristev
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Post by Kristev » Wed Oct 18, 2006 10:31 pm

What weapon does Mrs. Meadow-Brook always wield? The scandal-stick.

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TheWhitePawn
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Post by TheWhitePawn » Thu Oct 19, 2006 1:04 pm

How does the maid hope to get out of her predicament?

By telling White-lies.
Was it Miss Scarlet with the Candlestick in the Ballroom? Yes... yes it was.

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BlueManticore
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Post by BlueManticore » Thu Oct 19, 2006 6:45 pm

If your only clue is a corned beef sandwich, can you solve the crime?

Sure. It must have been Mustard in the kitchen with the knife. :wink:
Communism is just a red herring.

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CluedoKid
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Post by CluedoKid » Fri Oct 20, 2006 12:14 am

What did the professor say when questioned on the whereabouts of the poison?
"I plum forgot!"
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alwaysPeacock
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Post by alwaysPeacock » Fri Oct 20, 2006 7:06 pm

Who killed Mr. Boddy?
--The murderer.
"But look what happened to the cook!"

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thetrixrabbit
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Post by thetrixrabbit » Tue Oct 24, 2006 4:25 am

How did they know Miss Scarlet was guilty?

"She was caught red-handed."




So the reverend was jealous of Mr.Boddy's mistress...

"Yes, he was green with envy."




How did Mrs. Peacock escape the police?

"She flew the coup."




Here's a Christmas joke for you homonym fans-

How did you know he was the killer inside the Santa outfit?

"I saw 'plum pudding' on the suit."




Why did the inspector compare Mrs.White's alibi to Mr.Boddy's bed?

"He knew she had made it up that very morning."




When Miss Peach twisted her ankle, why was she using Colonel Mustard for support, when there were men she liked much better walking in the group ahead of them?

"She would rather use Mustard than catch up."
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cluegirl104
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Post by cluegirl104 » Tue Oct 24, 2006 8:12 am

how long did it take you to come up w/ all those?!?! :lol:
Oh Gravity, thou art a heartless b!tch

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thetrixrabbit
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Post by thetrixrabbit » Tue Oct 24, 2006 12:30 pm

It only took a few minutes, but bad puns are my specialty. 8)
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cluegirl104
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Post by cluegirl104 » Tue Oct 24, 2006 6:14 pm

you go trix!!
Oh Gravity, thou art a heartless b!tch

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thetrixrabbit
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Post by thetrixrabbit » Tue Oct 24, 2006 6:55 pm

Why wasn't Mrs.Peacock very popular?

Nobody likes to hang around people who are always blue.




Have you found any evidence to arrest the murderer?

Nope, not yvet, but I'm still looking, for what'it's'worth.




Was Mr.Green really mad that they accused him?

No, just a little jaded.




Did they convict Miss Scarlet after finding her jewelry with the ruby rabbit inside the victims clothing?

No, it turned out to be just a red hare ring. :roll: (you wanted groaners)




Could Professor Plum tell that Miss Scarlet didn't like his present?

Yeah, she said she was tickled pink, be he scolded her for pretending to be something she's not.
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CluedoKid
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Post by CluedoKid » Tue Oct 24, 2006 7:36 pm

Was finding the murder weapon hard?
Nope! It was a lead pipe cinch!
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Kristev
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Post by Kristev » Wed Oct 25, 2006 12:34 am

We're going to replace favorite Clue suspects Monseiur Brunette, Miss Peach, Sergeant Grey, and Madame Rose with . . .

Rusty Naylor, Lady Lavender, Prince Azure, Lord Grey, and Mrs. Meadow-Brook.

Yeah, I know, I know, I think it was a rather crummy joke, too.

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cluegirl104
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Post by cluegirl104 » Wed Oct 25, 2006 8:08 am

THAT IS NOT FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh Gravity, thou art a heartless b!tch

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cacums
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Post by cacums » Wed Jun 06, 2007 3:07 pm

It depends on how you look at it, try it backwards:
Brook-Meadow Mrs. and, Grey Lord, Azure Prince, Lavender Lady, Naylor Rusty . . . with Rose Madame and, Grey Sergeant, Peach Miss, Brunette Monsieur suspects Clue favorite replace to going We're
Last edited by cacums on Thu Dec 04, 2008 9:29 am, edited 1 time in total.

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CluedoKid
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Post by CluedoKid » Thu Nov 20, 2008 2:08 am

Why does Professor Plum tend to favour the bludgeoning weapons on Mr. Boddy?

He always enjoys giving his student real brain-busters!
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Post by Kristev » Sat Nov 22, 2008 2:48 am

In the board game, where does everyone sleep?

With Miss Scarlet. Now where does she sleep?

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Adam106
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Post by Adam106 » Thu Dec 04, 2008 6:59 am

Why does Miss Scarlett remind Colonel Mustard of a Spanner?

Because she tightens his nuts!

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cacums
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Post by cacums » Thu Dec 04, 2008 9:28 am

:shock: omg!!!

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CluedoKid
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Post by CluedoKid » Fri Dec 12, 2008 1:18 pm

Miss Peach being more dumb than usual walks into the Library and says, "Can I have a burger and fries?" Ms. Mango says, "I'm sorry Miss, but this is a library." So, Miss Peach lowers her voice and whispers, "Can I have a burger and fries?"
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