Letters to Mr. Boddy

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boddysattorney
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Post by boddysattorney » Sat Feb 25, 2006 3:25 am

Dear Mr. Boddy:

It may be to your knowledge that your late uncle and I were involved in some business deals that some would call "shady." I must say that you must dismiss these accusations at once. The business your uncle and I did together was always legal. One of these happened to be my selling him an antique collection of firearms, including an exceptional rare Napoleonic Era revolver. You may remember that as the gun I misfired on my 33rd birthday party you held for me. I do not usually request the charity of others, least of all my respectable friends, but a current financial state has brought me to desparate measures. I hope that you could find it in your heart to send me that revolver back. I am willing to pay for its return, just not immediately. Contact me with a reply soon.

Sincerely,
Prince Azure

fendue
Biometrics Examiner
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Location: At the foot of the cellar stairs

Post by fendue » Mon Mar 09, 2009 5:37 pm

Anonymous wrote:John Boddy!
I was using the bathroom today, because I had... one of Mrs. White's leftovers which didn't quite agree with my stomach. I was in the bathroom for a long time, and I found many complaints.
-There was no double quilted extra asorbant toilet paper. In fact, there were no toilet paper at all!
-All of the reading material was quite shoddy. I mean, Penthouses? Playboys? Hampshire W.hores? Please, have some class!
-The toilet seat wasn't heated, my rump was quite chilly!
-The toilet backed up, and there was no plug. I had to move to my own bathroom, and I may have... left some in the hallway.
I needn't say anymore. Just that I am VERY DISAPPOINTED in how your facilities is working.
Mrs. P. Peacock
:lol:

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cacums
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Location: If I told you it wouldn't be a secret anymore

Post by cacums » Mon Mar 09, 2009 5:41 pm

Dammit, must you bump everything :?
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fendue
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Post by fendue » Mon Mar 09, 2009 5:43 pm

cacums wrote:Dammit, must you bump everything :?
I don't see what's wrong with it.

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go_leafs_nation
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Location: Somewhere in Canada, eh?

Post by go_leafs_nation » Mon Mar 09, 2009 5:47 pm

It just becomes annoying.
The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy.
~Ellery Queen
At the Scene of the Crime

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CluedoKid
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Post by CluedoKid » Mon Mar 09, 2009 8:26 pm

Well, this is a thread that is worth bumping since it still has millage. However fendue, why not make a contribution of your own rather than simply posting a smiley for somebody else's long outdated humour?
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Michael
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Post by Michael » Mon Mar 09, 2009 9:12 pm

Boddy Manor Stationary stabbed into the kitchen wall with the knife.

- - -

Dear Mr. Boddy - you sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot:

Please accept this notice of my resignation effective immediately. I'm off to get a real job. You know, 9-5.

Blanche.

P.S. - I know what you like to do in the secret passages and I have photographs. Oh, and also, I spit in your sherry. You don't even want to know what I did to your precious brandy. Do you mind if I use you as a reference?
How do you know what kind of pictures they are if you're such a lay-dee?

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MissScarletDidntDoIt
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Post by MissScarletDidntDoIt » Mon Mar 09, 2009 9:21 pm

Dear Mr. Boddy,
I hate your stinking guts. You make me vomit. You're scum between my toes.
Love, Alfalfa.
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cacums
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Location: If I told you it wouldn't be a secret anymore

Post by cacums » Mon Mar 09, 2009 9:25 pm

Boddy---

I'd love to go out on another 'date'. But you really need to learn matters! Ladies first and next time warn me before you throw off my clothes and slip a very tight...

Anyway... I'd also like you to buy me some more jewels, flowers, candy... oh but I can't have anything with chocolate! And also, would it kill you to tell your maid to dust! I got my white glove dirty while fingering behind the bathtub!!! Outrageous! If my maid, Beatrice ever left even a speck of dust behind the bath tub............ I also would like to ask that you make your bed before I get in it! By the way, your Conservatory is a wreck! I saw two leaves at least two inches long laying near the fountain! You are letting your house fall messy! And cheap too! How many marble columns are in the Hall? Hmmm? Only eight? And how many diamonds are studded on it? I counted forty-five! Honestly, I'd think you were middle class! Oh and, I don't mean to press, the water takes 3.56 seconds to get warm in the bathroom! Maybe you should save your money to afford a new sink! I'd also appreciate it if you bought me a new limo, yacht, and private jet! (My other two jets are getting quite dirty since I bought them last week) I'd also wish for you to get me some vintage, collectors edition, mint condition etiquette books! And along the line of book, your library is very dusty! Looking forward to seeing you at 3:00 pm! Make sure to get those little things done for me before I get there. xoxoxoxo
Image (Eleanor Julie Francis Marie Peacock)
Image

Kristev
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Post by Kristev » Tue Mar 10, 2009 2:03 am

Ellie, dear, I've captured a letter written by that horrid White girl. It was addressed to you, but I just had to confiscate it. I have copied it, verbatum:

Dear Mrs. Peacock:

It has come to my attention that you have exhausted your last husband's most lavish estate with your pointless demand for perfection, flawless cleanliness, and conspicuous consumption. You have personally ruined the economy of the entire town. As of now, you are officially disinvited from Boddy Mansion, and Tudor Close, until further notice. You are additionally informed that Mister Boddy has begun to date Miss Scarlet. Under no circumstances are you to call, visit, or stop by Boddy Mansion.

Bankruptcyly yours, Mister Boddy, sighed in his absence. Miss Blanca Bianca.

That's the terrible letter now. What color of mail would you call this, Ellie? Red? Ooh, this must be burning you up inside. Come over to my house and we'll talk about about it. Perhaps I can even get a good bit for my gossip mill. And if you don't come, I'll really have something to tell my gossip mill!

Sighed Jane Meadow-Brook.

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